Bits & Bobs — My beef of the month and other assorted thoughts
Welcome to the first edition of my loose threads.
My diaries contain a multitude of musings, some of which become articles and others that die on the page. So, I decided to raise the dead and test a “Bits & Bobs” format.
where my head’s at
I’ve been building a startup in stealth with two other folks. In a few weeks, we’ll launch our brand into the ether. Despite being an early employee at other startups, I’m nervous (and excited) to be a first-time founder. In parallel fashion, I also rescued a kitten from the lot I fostered earlier this Summer. So, I’m raising a startup and a baby cat. (Cat tax at the end.)
something I’m still trying to articulate
With nerves on the mind, I visited my local witch shop for incense, crystals, or a spell. Instead, I found a flyer on the 7 Hermetic Principles, which led me down the rabbit hole to The Kybalion. One of its principles is the illusion of opposites.
The law of polarity says opposites are not opposites at all — just ends of the same continuum. So, opposites are more alike than not.
Take hot and cold. They’re both temperatures. Hot can be cooled, and cold can be warmed. If two people are in the same space, one person could be hot and the other could be cold. It’s all relative or a matter of degree.
I find this comforting, especially with fear and courage. I‘m scared to start something new, but it’s all a matter of degree. Eventually, I’ll get to courage.
my beef of the month
I dislike the commoditization of impostor syndrome.
As I fumble my way to courage, I seem to be emitting a signal. My LinkedIn messages would have you believe I’m broken or self-hating. They pitch me cures for impostor syndrome based on my status as a woman in leadership. I can’t help but feel we’re training women to take on this label.
I believe and have met folks who experience debilitating feelings of being a fraud or unworthy despite evidence to the contrary. But, I’ve also met folks who are starting a new job, learning a skill, or stepping out of their comfort zone, and they’ve inherited the label of impostor syndrome for what feels like the natural tension of growth.
Imposter syndrome has become a convenient way for a company to make an unsafe or exclusive work environment an individual’s problem. This piece says it best. By passing the label to the individual, it removes company or leadership accountability, but it also removes individual accountability — accountability to yourself and who you can become.
Sinking into a label can keep us from necessary discomfort. When folks have said, “Sounds like you have impostor syndrome,” what I was trying to express was — I’m on the edge of learning, and it’s hard. When I’m out of my depth, I experience friction, doubt, and challenge. Doesn’t everyone? Yes, it’s scary, but it passes, and what’s on the other side is the thing I want.
It feels reductive to lump that feeling into impostor syndrome. Going through the muckiness of growth is not the same as feeling like a fraud.
We do this with a lot of labels. What’s working for me is that if a label helps me reflect and reframe, that’s great. But if it’s becoming a monolithic identity or holding me back from growth, then it’s time to re-examine. Imposter syndrome already got the boot. It wasn’t a label I ever asked for or even wanted. And I can’t help but feel that I only got it because I’m a woman, and it was easy to keep me boxed in and searching for a cure.
stuff I wrote last month
my nod to nostalgia
I recently spent an afternoon at our local roller rink for my daughter’s 10th birthday. The venue is a time warp, an ode to a different era. It’s one of those places that makes me feel connected to her and a past version of myself, as if 10-year-old me from 1995 is meeting her in 2025 through the magic of a vinyl-wrapped roller rink and disco ball. Revisiting the past has its place. Right now, as I teeter on the edge of pouring my passion into something new, I find courage in the hopes and dreams of 10-year-old me.
So that’s what’s lingering from July. What’s been on your mind lately?
XoXo,
Courtney
p.s. meet tortellini
