Growth Can't Be Self-Sacrificial
No one is putting up with companies or people that reward burnout — How to prioritize mental health and growth.
After becoming a mother, I silently faced my third time with an eating disorder. It's a terrifying experience𑁋hurting myself gave me what I wanted. I felt better about my appearance, and others validated that. When I recovered, the validation stopped. Imagine my surprise to learn that I transferred that control to work. I received praise for overwork and when I stopped, so did the praise. I wanted to improve myself𑁋get to the next ideal weight or target salary. Nothing was ever enough.
Self-improvement shouldn't be self-sacrificial. It can't be.
The self-improvement illusion
Throughout my childhood, my dad played self-help tapes during truck rides. I remember the anxious feeling of needing to improve. I pictured it like a race𑁋self-improvement was an end post, and once I got to it, well, then I was finished, complete, whole. To me, we were all running to the same end post.
The cassettes washed my mind with feelings of inadequacy. I believed I was inherently flawed, and life's journey was to become less flawed. Accolades, education, and titles became mile markers in life. They served as tangible signs that I was in the race. Then, after years of running…
